ic inbox.

[rezni]

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Nikolai Lantsov, 24

DIABEL

CODE BY

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[sunmon]

[ the self awareness doesn't necessarily end at her desire for bodily autonomy. no, it's also a matter of having aleksander indelibly etched into her skin and wanting, instead, to feel that kind of closeness to nikolai — to choose it with him instead of letting herself get sucked into it with aleksander.

these are not things she'll say. if it didn't drive him away somehow, it would be admitting a vulnerability, giving him power over her that she wants to keep to herself. but that doesn't erase the wanting.

thus, hedging: ] I haven't put much thought towards it. I'm open to suggestions.

[rezni]

[ The impression that fills the moments of contemplation are more blueprint than art; Nikolai's flourishes are more mechanical, fantastic only in that he is dreaming contraptions that shouldn't exist. They give way to— ]

I gave you quite the ring, back in Ravka. I suppose a band around your finger here would be a poor substitute, but maybe you'd like the potential of something holding place until I can put my mother's jewels back where they're meant to sit.

[sunmon]

[ there's no denying the little thrill that prospect sends through her. looks down at her finger and considers if that might offer with it some reassurance of stability, dependability. a touchstone. ]

It's a lot easier to take back a ring.

[ it's stupid to point out that he might want to change his mind. she knows that. he hadn't changed his mind when she'd come out of the void disfigured by her own sins. still, she feels obligated to point this out. to remind him of where the door is. ]

[rezni]

I don't intend to take anything back, ring or otherwise.

[sunmon]

[ that alone feels surreal. she wishes she could bottle his certainty and start her day with a sip of it. maybe then she'd be less of a mess. she rubs at her knuckle. ]

Won't it seem silly if it isn't part of a matching pair?

[rezni]

Of course. That's why I'll have to get one done alongside you.

[sunmon]

[ she catches her grin, but not before it starts to spread, and that's saying nothing for the warmth in her belly. ]

I thought you weren't planning to take him up on it yourself.

[rezni]

I've found myself convinced that it would be foolish to let the opportunity pass.

[sunmon]

Oh, THAT would be foolish?

[ she's laughing. the disbelieving kind. ]

I like the idea.
Of people being able to see that you're mine.
But I don't know that I like the kind of danger it could put you in.

[rezni]

Alina, I'm not going to let fear of anyone prevent us from doing exactly as we please.

Put your mark on me, and wear mine in return. As long as you like the idea, we can see it done.

[sunmon]

I like the idea.

[ for all that he's carried the disproportionate weight of effusive professions, she doesn't miss a beat on this reassurance. she won't have it coming across that she doesn't want it enough to affirm that again. ]

I'll talk to Eddie.

[rezni]

Good. Tell him to make it soon. We're impatient.

[sunmon]

Afraid of losing your nerve?

[rezni]

Never.

[ Between them, Nikolai suspects he is not the one likely to change his mind. ]

Eager to have our turn before he runs out of ink.

[sunmon]

I'm sure he'll get us in.
He owes me one.

[rezni]

Is that something I should ask about, or something you'd rather not talk about?

[sunmon]

It might be the secret third category, things you don't want to hear about.

[rezni]

I can't recall ever having such a category.

[sunmon]

[ maybe it's true that there isn't one. maybe she's the only jealous party here, who hears that he's felt something resembling desire for another and instantly feels threatened. maybe he isn't that insecure. ]

He bit me.

[rezni]

Bit?

[ Consider Nikolai, a person who cannot help but put a hand on a hot stove. To know and pin all his discomfort on the nature of the place they find themselves, and not think too deeply on how much he would rather have something resembling monogamy between them.

But in this case, more information is needed to parse exactly what he should be feeling about this. ]

[sunmon]

The creature he becomes feeds on blood.

[rezni]

That has the potential to be troublesome.

Are you alright?

(cw: idk man self kinkshaming ig)

[sunmon]

Oh, I'm fine. It was more startling than unwelcome.
And now that I'm saying that I realize it sounds insane.
I think there must be something about the bite that makes it so you don't think about the danger or the pain.

[ hahahahahaha gotta be right lmao it couldn't just be ... bc she's ... like that ... hahahaha very funny and normal post-festival conversations while she feels Weird about the shit that went on there. ]

[rezni]

It's not impossible. But I think we'd have as difficult a time studying it as we would any other person's monster.
This isn't an invitation for you to volunteer anything. I'm thinking aloud.

[sunmon]

You don't really think I'd be eager to coax out anyone's monster on purpose, do you?




But I did tell him to reach out to me if the blood gets to him.