ic inbox.

[rezni]

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Nikolai Lantsov, 24

DIABEL

CODE BY

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[princess_of_ida]

You ever find yourself seriously wondering if she's worth it? Worth the cost, like you're fucking Icarus flying too close to the fucking sun.

Cause I ask myself that a lot.

[rezni]

No.

[ Some self-deprecation in the tone that bleeds through; yes, he knows this is a fool's answer, and yet— ]

But I've always made a habit of gambling on ill-advised enthusiasm.

[ Enthusiasm. Love. Nearly the same, aren't they? ]

[princess_of_ida]

Those habits are going to get you killed one day.

Every fucking time I ask myself if she's worth it, I have the same fucking answer.

[rezni]

Yes.

[ Like the answer to the question, not a prompt. ]

[princess_of_ida]

I told her I liked her. Guess that puts me a foot ahead.

[rezni]

Did she believe you?

[princess_of_ida]

I've never had my feelings so invalidated in an instant before.

[rezni]

[ An expected answer. ]

I thought I was fairly good at convincing people of things, at one point in my life. Before I met Alina.
She is stubborn in her convinctions.

[princess_of_ida]

She's not stubborn. She's fucking blind.
I think a part of her, somewhere underneath all the abuse, believes it. Or at least wants to believe it. It got better after talking more about it, but on nights like this it fucking feels like I'm back fighting that bitch that took my arm. Or screaming into a storm.

Fuck I need a drink.

[rezni]

Stubborn about her blindness, perhaps.

Are you by yourself, Ianthe?

[princess_of_ida]

Nah, got Babs with me.

[rezni]

Babs?

[princess_of_ida]

[Oops.]

Nothing. Never mind about that. Unimportant.
Yeah, I'm alone. Drank all the wine earlier. Now I'm out.

[rezni]

[ convincing? mmmm ]

I'm afraid I can't help you with the wine. But if you'd like company, I can offer that.

[princess_of_ida]

[Nothing happened. NOTHING. That was just a fragment of Nikolai's imagination.]

Don't want to feel anything for a while. Too much. Need to drink them away or to fuck them away.

[rezni]

I'm not sure I'm right for that. Would I be a reminder?

[princess_of_ida]

Heh. We could fuck each other while thinking about her. Wouldn't that be something? Bet a part of her would love that.

[rezni]

She would, until she got it into her head that she'd rather join us.

Would you answer a question for me?

[princess_of_ida]

We really should just bend her over something and spit-roast her.

I'll at least listen to the question. No promises on answering.

reworks this question on the fly

[rezni]

Maybe for a special occassion.[ a little levity on the way to— ]

Have you seen what she carried out of the Void with her?

[princess_of_ida]

[There were a lot of things drunk!Ianthe might not remember exactly right, but the things Alina had specifically asked her not to talk about was on that list. It's the only reason she hasn't let Nikolai know that she knows about the marriage. Alina never told her not to talk about the bones. She was still perhaps less guarded about her own involvement than she normally would be, though. But this whole conversation had been an exercise in why Ianthe should not be talking to people when drunk and in her feels.]

She brought nothing out with her that she did not enter with other than new emotional scars given to her by the false world within.

[rezni]

Were you there?

[princess_of_ida]

When she killed Aleksander? No.

Ask me what you really want to ask.

[rezni]

Did she come to you with it?

[ It. The bones. The would-be amplifier. Aleksander's death. ]

[princess_of_ida]

Yes. She needed me.